I Donated My Eggs to Help Pay for Grad School

For a broke social work grad student, it was easy to justify selling my eggs for $8K. This is just my story.

We often hear about guys donating their sperm to make some extra cash (a trope I feel I’ve seen often in tv sitcoms, or rom-com movies like, ‘The Switch’ for example). However, egg donation seems like this strange phenomenon that i’ve literally never heard talked about outside of my own researching in the deep web, and advertisement posters plastered on the walls of ivy league campuses. These posters have pictures of beautiful young women smiling on them with their thumbs up and, “Earn up to $10,000 per cycle!” in big bold letters. How could one not be enticed? Or at the bare minimum at least curious enough to start researching.

My first year of grad school I was ‘lucky’ enough to nanny for a millionaire family in the UES in order to pay my bills. I say ‘lucky’ because while I was grateful for the generous wage of $25 an hour (under the table), there’s a reason these families pay handsomely. They’re insane. Don’t get me wrong, I had some nice moments with the kids, but at the end of the day, the job was causing me more anxiety and stress than the money was worth. But this is a story of my egg donation, not my nannying history (maybe I’ll write something about that another day).

So, over the course of my first year of grad school, I stuck out my nannying job and did a lot of research on egg donation. I had weighed the pros and cons and came to a decision. So, this past May I applied to a couple of agencies to be a donor, was accepted by one, and I quit my nannying gig in June.

The application process was relatively easy; I was even upfront about having had kidney disease/surgery when I was a child, and they still accepted me. I think mostly because it’s not a genetic disorder, so there wouldn’t be a chance of any offspring having it. They wanted to know all the typical stuff like, family history of every physical and mental illness. I was very honest about my family’s physical health. I probably could have been more honest about my families and I’s not super great mental health (anxiety, depression, ocd), but I really didn’t want to risk my chances of being chosen. So, I’ll take this time now to apologize to any potential offspring. (Although I do think mental health stuff is a healthy mix of nature and nurture).

They asked about my academics, athleticism, musical/artistically abilities, and yada yada. My highest selling points were probably athletics, comedy stuff (I’m very into performing improv at the moment, please hold your applause), and ivy league grad student. Then came that question that every egg donor probably sees and wonders how honest they should be. “Why do you want to be an egg donor?” What I wanted to write down was “Because I did the math and doing this would give me as much money as I would earn in like 16–20 weeks as a nanny, and I’m tired trying to do this balancing act of school, field placement, and work.” But instead I wrote down, “I don’t want to have kids of my own someday, so I’d like to give someone else the chance to be able too.”

Which in my defense, isn’t total bs. I don’t want to physically have my own kids someday. The idea of being pregnant and giving birth freaks me the hell out. But I do want to have kids, I just don’t want to physically have kids. So, adoption, duh! That’s what this recipient should also be doing, there’s so many kids out there who need to be adopted…. oh, shit I’m basically a huge hypocrite and complicit in this whole system, aren’t I? Damn it. But maybe the mother really wanted to experience pregnancy/childbirth, and who am I to tell a stranger that they shouldn’t want that. Conflicting feelings are fun.

Oh yeah that’s the other thing. I don’t know who this recipient of my eggs is. The agency that accepted me only does anonymous donations. I have no right to the contact information of the recipients, and I would have no right or obligation to any potential offspring, and, I will not even be informed if a child (or children) do result from my donation. Although the social worker at the agency did inform me that if they eventually ask me to donate again, that’s usually a pretty good indicator that it did work.

Part of me kind of wished it wasn’t anonymous. I think it would have been cool to see what a potential baby o’ my DNA would have looked like, because I truly do not believe I will have one of my own someday. I don’t need to be deeply involved in whatever wealthy Manhattan family’s life this kid might be lucky enough to be a part of; I just think it would be neat to have an email a few times a year that said, “hey look what your bundle o’ DNA is up to now!”

What was the process like you might ask? Well I wish it was as easy as jacking off into a cup, as one would do for a sperm donation. I think fertility donation might be the only field where the wage gap favors women over men! Ha! Take that patriarchy! Of course, that reason being it’s not as luxurious as having to just orgasm into a cup. Basically, once a recipient had chosen me (based off my medical history, physical description, and personality. Cause it’s anonymous, so no pictures), and all the loose ends were tied, I would start hormone injections for almost 2 weeks. It’s basically the same hormones women take when they do IVF.

Long story short, I went into this fertility clinic every other day for two weeks and watched my eggs multiply and grow rapidly on an ultra sound screen. Then on November 20th, they knocked me out with some anesthetics (yes you must be put to sleep for it, just google the egg retrieval process. Hint: they use a big ass needle) and retrieved roughly 30 eggs from my womb.

My only major complaint during this process was the insane bloating and discomfort I felt the couple days leading up to the actual egg retrieval, and then the following week recovering from it. At one point I truly thought I looked 2nd trimester pregnant just from how bloated I was. After a week post retrieval though, I felt completely back to normal.

So why am I sharing this? I’m honestly not sure. This is still fresh and recent for me, so I think I needed an outlet for my mixed emotions on everything. Again, I’m not a monster. I didn’t just do this for the money. I do think it’s very cool I potentially helped someone start a family, and that it’s probably the only time/way my DNA will be passed down generationally. But I’d be lying if I said money wasn’t a big factor. I wouldn’t have been able to pay my December rent without it.

Would I do it again? I don’t know, probably not. I had a decent experience, but with any medical procedure like this, you’re always risking your body and health. Plus, I will hopefully be starting a real career in social work a few months from now once I graduate, so financially it won’t be as necessary. Would I recommend anyone else doing this? My simple answer: do all the research you possibly can, and then make your decision. Weigh your pros and cons.

At the end of the day, it feels bizarre that I can say, “I’m an egg donor” But it’s something I am proud of, and I don’t regret it.

P.S — I have done a 23andMe, which can link family members through DNA. So, in the very slim and rare off chance that a potential bundle o’ my DNA happens to read this or find me on there someday, please don’t hesitate to reach out and connect with me (if we haven’t all died yet from global warming).